Sometimes, when we look back at our past memories and decisions, we tend to wonder, are these worth it? Will we regret it? As much as i seem like a total bitch who doesn't give a fuck about friends who left. I'm actually honestly quite sentimental. As much as I often make impulse decisions, i often wonder if my decisions made then, were of correct judgements.

Years passed, friends come and go, some stay and made impacts, good or bad. I remember how i used to be a total rebellious child, in a way or another. It's not like i'm all goody good now. But at least, what i am doing now, my mum knows. When i go drinking at chalets, i don't have to lie or give excuses about it. In fact, i just tell my mum upfront about it.

Lying, Imitating others, Backstabbing, Heartaches, Heartshakes, i had it all. I experienced it all. Some friends were just there to make use of me. After that, i'm just nothing more than just an ordinary girl, that's of no value to them. While i had my truthful clique of friends, other imitated me, just to be accepted. It's not like i have anything worthy to be copied of. But i just hate it when they try to act close with you and all.

All my best friends know when i was backstabbed the worst. It was really indeed a lowest point in my life. Nevertheless, i'm thankful it happened. Although it wasn't a right timing. But it taught me things that the mind can never think of, and the heart could never accept it. The kinds of people, what jealously would lead to. Still, i'm thankful for those that stayed, those that had been there for me. For those that left, you are someone i cherish alot. Though i have never said anything about it, though i have never expressively showed anything, but i miss you.

I somewhat felt that, sec 2 was the best year of all my years in secondary school. Back when you girls are by my side, back when the littlest things could get us so hyped up. When pure innocence was what made us the happiest. Before all the other distractions came in. When we were so bonded together. Just us.

Poly isn't a happy place to be in. I'd be honest. It's saddening to say that, work can lead to damages in friendships. Sometimes, i do hope that if we aren't working together, would it be able to salvage anything? But it takes 2 hands to clap. Different working style, yet working together. Why force the working style when you can't really handle it. Isn't it much better to just, do something about it instead of damaging a precious friendship. Just over some stupid assignments, worth it, or not? Individuals have their own thinking. Mine, it ain't worth it.

Some friends aren't here to stay, that's the saddest part. Cause there's no entrance fee to a person's heart.