u wanna know what i'm unhappy about?
okay fine.
i'll tell you everything.

i haven't even been happy since the beginning of the year.
except for certain occasions.

i feel that you dote on them more than on me.
i don't know why, but it feels that way.
i feel that you are closer to her now.
i just feel that i don't mean anything to you.

right.
true enough,
i talk on the phone with the both of you.
but, i know very well now, who i dote on more.
i know who means more to me.
not that i don't care about him.
i care of both, alot.
but it's just different.
sometimes, no matter how much i teng him, it can't be compared to yours.
i know that hurting whichever will make me more xintong.

why didn't i tell you?
cause you weren't there when i needed you.
you were somewhere else msg-ing or with someone else.
then when i wanna tell you, there is hardly the chance.

sometimes i really don't wanna hear anymore of these promises.
simply cause you all don't always seem to keep them.
they are just like words that come out of your mouth without thinking.

you promised to be there for me always. and also never leave me.
that's the latest promise.
that's the promise that you told me just that day.
but, know what?
i don't feel you there anymore.
it seems like you were only there that night.
then when i wake up the next day, things return back to square one.
back to how it was before then.
seems to me that you don't even remember the promise.

i really feel that i mean of nothing to you at all.
there isn't a place for me to exist.
the feeling just sucks.

if you can't read this post.
i really don't know how to tell you already.
this isn't all that i've got to say.
there is more to come.

now that i've told you mine,
will you tell me yours?
honestly, i don't think so.

all i want now, is some assurance.
i don't wanna make anymore assumptions.

ni dao di hai teng wo mah?
will you really promise to be there for me always. and never leave?
i hope this to be the last time i'm asking it.