Hello, i didn't attend school today. Was having fever. Now no more fever already. But, i'm having a really baddddd rash. Damn it. Why is my skin so sensitive=.= Till now still damn itchy.

Anyway, yesterday night and tonight aren't exactly very lovely. Spare me for the excessive rantings.

Firstly, my stupid adapter isn't working. Like, when i plug it, totally no effect. It's as though i didnt plug in it. It's something wrong with the adapter. I tried to plug in my brother's adapter, and it was perfectly fine. Likw, ftw!

Secondly, my darling camera isn't working perfectly fine like before after that day. It will auto focus and unfocus and focus again, even though im not pressing anything at all. Ohwell, i'm not blaming anyone. It was an accident. No one wanted it to happen, so don't feel guilty. It's just, my heart sank that moment it dropped. The camera was on, the lens was out. It dropped so hard that the battery pack flew out. So you all can't expect me to feel nonchalant about it. I think i was already very calm at that point of time. I really needed that moment to myself. Thanks Jiewei for the hug. It did calm my nerves. I admit that i could burst out into tears at that point of time. But i know i must not.

Thirdly, I don't know why. I have already told myself, you dote on her more. So, it's time i should let go. I will still be there, but it's never the same again. I know i have a place in your heart, i know it will stay in the heart. But, i've been shifted, front the front, to the back. You won't know what it feels like to be replaced by someone close to you. I don't blame anyone or anything for it. It's just human nature. Now that you and i have spoken out. We'll try to make this work out. But, i don't know what the end product is.

Forthly, I think it's true that my temper got worst. Maybe it's because of the stress i'm under, maybe because of my surroundings, maybe because it's just me. I am clearly aware that this temper of mine is gonna cause trouble sooner or later. It's only a matter of time before i lose people close to me due to my temper.

i know that the change was not me being paranoid. I know that the change was not cause of nothing. I knew something was wrong. But, i think it's all too late. It has more or less already caused damage that cannot be mended. I'm sorry. Sorry you had to tolerate me all this while.

I once believed that i was the only one you would love forever

I think i'm gonna stop here. I feel like tears are already waiting to flow down my cheeks. Too much information, too much stuff in my head. I need a hug from someone who really cares. I need some time alone. I might be talking happily to you, I might be smiling to you on msn. But trust me, i'm not fine. Just, not now. Maybe, maybe i'll be fine and back to morning tomorrow.

Till then...