oh, maybe i shoud blog today, suddenly have the mood to do it.
many things happened this year.good things and bad things as well.
nobody can predict what will happen tomorrow.
we never know what might happen to us the next day.
maybe i should write something for every single person that is dear to me((:

lets start from FAM.

JIAQI
knew you since secondary 1.
my dear and dearest laopo.
you have been through with me the good and the bad times.
you are there for me when i am at my lowest point to cheer me up and tell me everything is okay.
and also, someone who always love to bug me about coming to my house to cook korean noodles. or even just coming to my house to slack. and also, your love for barbequed stingray made my mother marinate it with more chilli.

still, thanks for always being there.
希望在我的每一个明天里都会有你。
no matter how many laopo i have, you'll always be the one that means the most to me((:

BAOSHAN
ah girl ah, want to find you is as hard as trying to find the president leh!
but, i love you!
your laughing is contagious hor!
even if one day, when the rest of us graduate, we'll still keep in touch okay?
don't think that we'll just forget you when we graduate.
we can still have lunch together often okay!

JESSIE
you don't have internet!

LENA
my dearest nu er.
many things have happened and i swear we aren't as close as ever.
but one thing for sure that i must say is.
you mean something to us even when you don't realise.
you may think that it didn't mattered when you didn't come for the FAM chalet.
but, we missed you okay!
pretty disappointed that you didn't even came to drop by.
the atmosphere was just different without you around.
noone to scream at us when we keep making noise when watching the movie.
noone to complain that the stingray isn't spicy enough for you.

we may not be the closest of friends. but you do mean something important to me as well as to FAM.
i'll still remember how i helped you choose your sc shirt.
the card you gave to me and jiaqi for mother's day last year along with a packet of lollipop.
the time when i accompanied you to the doctor at 300 plus and you asked me if you could eat macdonalds.
the fact that you were angry and worried for us when we're injured proves that you care.

the time may not be very long.
but the memories do last.
lennnnaaaa; aishiteru~!
do take care of yourself okay?

SENGIE
my dear gie gie,
you are really a silly girl.
many things happened to us this year.
but, sometimes misunderstandings may help to bring each other closer.
so i hope, we'll understand each other better okay?

among so many of us,you are the one that has the same kind of temper as me.
sometimes i wonder, how have we come so far?
whatever it is, i hope that, we can still be friends forever.
can hyper together when we are reaching our limit of tiredness.

i'll be there for you when you need me okay?
my ears are here for you to pour out all your unhappiness.
my shoulders are here for you to lean on.
just hope that jiaqi won't be jealous yah?
you are loved((:



shall stop here today. will continue with the rest on another day((:

o.O
changed my blogskin. thanks to JASMINE GAN HSIO YAN!
she decided which skin for me.
heh!

oh, it has been like alien years since i blogged.
well, shall blog about yesterday.

met clarence at about 12.30
went to converse to get back the converse bag that they held onto for a week.
after that we went to bugis cause he wanted to see jeans chain and belt.
didn't find it eventually.

jiejie and jason wasn't ready yet.
so we had to go over marina square to book the kbox before them.
while we were at marina square, was deciding whether to take the normal k or to take kdinner.
eventually decided on the kdinner. simply cause it was much worth it.
then we went into the room, waited till jiejie and jason reached.
we were happily singing till around 7 plus 8 then we started to get food into the room to makan.
clarence and jason sure made their money worth.
they ate lots and lots of sashimi.
all the food there are by sakura.
hmm, paying a little more to eat sakura food, quite worth it lah.

at 8 plus.
a waitress came in and ask us if we wanted to play a game.
so we were like.
anything lor.

jiejie and i went out to play. clarence and jason were standing behind us.
the aim of the game is to pour water into a floating glass that is inside the pail of water.
if the glass sinks, you lose.
and, the winners have a surprise gift.
as for those who lost, you'll have a surprise drink as well.
played for rounds, we managed to survive till the last few.
jiejie lost, had to drink that surprise drink.
it's brown in colour.
then jason helped her drink.
after that he's stomach felt pretty unwell.
then clarence came and tell me.
"eh, jason say the drink taste super terrible, got coffee and milo still got other things."

i lost 2 rounds after her.
i was like,"oh fuck, must drink this damn thing"
then i shake the drink, cause it's inside a test-tube like container.
then i finished in one go.
my god, it tastes super terrible okay!
mine is worse than jason's.
mine got coffee and milo and still got i think tobassco.
wahlao!
1. I don't take coffee
2. I take spicy food buy tobassco is a definite nono.

my stomach felt unwell after that too.
but, it was pretty much fun lahh.

took mrt and went back.
were talking about what happened when we went to vivocity the previous time, "flying granny(:"
then when we reached tampines mrt,
jason went to the bank to deposit money.
i was outside writing on the misty glass surface while jason was inside trying desperately to erase it.
jiejie and clarence were watching us from the back.
when it was jason's turn to use the machine, jiejie went in.
clarence went in too cause got aircon.

i went in after that also.
guess what i did?
i went in and said:"robbery, draw all your money out for me or die!"
they stared at me.
and i didn't realise that there was someone standing next to jason.
i was like, "opps, what the hell did i just do?"
and jason was, "haha! later the door lock ah! cause they sensitive to the word robbery then we all kena lock and arina will be taken to the police for attempting to rob."
-.-
went home soon after that.
took 38 with jiejie, jason and clarence.
chatted on the way and i was the 1st to alight.


我轻轻的尝一口
你说的爱我
还在回味你给过的温柔
我轻轻的尝一口
这香浓的诱惑
我喜欢的样子你都有

i'm gonna just leave everything behind.
don't wish to look back into unhappy things.
everybody makes mistakes.
i guess i made too many.
so, i hope to be forgiven.

&i'll have another fresh start.

我的视线已变得很模糊。
我已不懂得分辨事情的对错。
不懂得如何去解决一切的问题。
对于以前的我，要解决问题一点都不难。
可是对于现在的我，简直是要了我的命。
我也很讨厌现在的我。
我的脾气变得更暴躁不是因为友情或感情上，而是自己家庭方面的问题。

对于你们，我这两天想了很多。

对于____，我敢说，
我从来都没有骂过或想过你是个三八婆。
可能是我在骂别人，或只是随口说别人。
可是，我很确定，我没理由骂你。
还有，你问，我们是否有把你当作我们的最好朋友。
想了很多，我也不是赶着要回答你的问题。
我真的有把你当成我的好朋友。
只是，如果我和你之间残生什么问题。
我不知道要这么样更你开口解决。
我也从来没有更你当朋友因为你钱财上和物质上的富贵。
我们更你作朋友是真的要和你当朋友。
我更没有说，不是我的错。
如果我不认为是我的错，我更本就不会道歉，我也不会说：要起火，是需要两颗石头。

走到船头，自然直。

oh. wow. i hoped and prayed you'll say out everything that you were unhappy about. i'm not such an idiot that i couldn't see that you don't like me. even since i stead with him, you attitude towards me totally changed. I said you can get money from your parents your you still work. yes, i may sound very mean. but please, if i really meant it, would i had taken the application form for you? i would even bother finding anything for you. i can't get money from my parents during the holiday. and you said, given your family circumstances, you should work more. hello, why do i want to find a job so quickly? cause i know very well my family circumstance. nobody knows about my family circumstances. not a single soul, not you, not jessie, not baoshan, not jiaqi, not even clarence. hello, you talked about me behind my back too. i know that. but i never did i say a word about it. i thought you were my best friend too. i admit. i did talk bad about you before. but thats when something serious happen. other than that, when other people talk bad about you, i speak up for you too. you yourself did it too. so don't say others. you do talk about people that don't even say bad things about you. you may have forgotten. nevermind. And, i talked bad about you, simply because you started it first. i know i changed. i have become more hot-tempered too. when others give me attitude or whatsoever. i only say that the person attitude. but i don't say anything else. and you say you changed cause you had enough of people treating you like crap? then please, who treated me like crap first. finding me when you need me. throwing me aside when you don't need me. treating me like nothing but someone for you to fall back on when everyone else are not there. many people can see that, you think i feel good? treat me like crap when you have someone else. so, that what a best friend should do? i'm amazed. very interesting. you were the one who started it and now you are asking me why i did it? since you don't like the feeling too, why did you do it. i would rather you say everything straight in my face then telling other. you don't like it, neither do i. if you hate a guy to interfere, tell that straight into his face. i don't know a thing he said. so why tell me? don't i have the right to cry? everyone has. even a newborn baby. i didn't blame a single thing on you. don't put words into my mouth. who is the one fabricating tales here? i didn't drag anyone in too. i told him nothing. but he kept asking, wtf do you expect me to do? who is the one who went around telling others about untrue facts. you started badmouthing me, and they turned against me. so, you didn't mean it? fine. i knew everything. but i just kept quiet. i tried to make up to you. but you didn't even give me a single chances. since you don't even give me a single chance? why did i give you so many in the past. i did not say a single thing about you making untrue assumptions. right, you are the princess, no one dared say a fking shit. right, i make a shitload. very well. all those true comcerns are crapshit. thanks. get this into your stubborn head. i dare say this. when i say concern for you, i meant it. those were my truthful words. if i really meant to backstab you, i wouldn't even bother. i can just simply make more untrue tales about it. i would admit it if i made a mistake. i don't push the blame to someone else. i would think that you're the one putting me in hell now. i agree that friendship isn't proven by how much you cry for a person. i have never cried for jiaqi, i have never cried for baoshan too. however, they are still my best friends. sorry, even since this year, somewhat near the middle, i am totally unsure of what am i to you already. i asked you several times what i meant to you. you told me you treated me like your best friend. however, i don't feel so. i simply feel like i'm someone for you to lean back on. but, i told myself it's okay, you have your freedom to hang out with whoever you want. but i told myself to be there whenever you need me. and, i had never ever said it was YOUR fault. i did not say that. so if you're unhappy? why find me when i'm not the one? simply cause he's my boyfriend? then if your boyfriend makes me unhappy, i should take the blame on you too. i bothered to apologise, cause i know it's my fault. and you meant something to me. i know friendship isn't jugded by how much the person is there when you need them. but please, even if i bad mouthed you, i had never ever told your secrets out. and, they were only minor ones. after that, i would clear up with whoever i had told bad things about you. don't be too sure that you wouldn't bad mouth about people that didn't do anything wrong to you. you started it, i didn't say anything. when i started talking about you, it was when i really find it unfair that i have to tolerate everything that's wrong and when the fault isn't mine. please, if i weren't bothered with your actions and your words? would i have cried. if i didn't give a fuck about this friendship, i wouldn't have apologised. if i didn't give a damn about your feelings, i wouldn't have wanted to clear up everything. i hoped and wished that you'll tell me everything that you're unhappy with me about. i spent the entire night thinking. doesn't this friendship mean something to me. some tell me this friendship isn't gonna work out. why didn't i listen to them and just leave everything aside. i bothered. i cared about this friendship. i'm willing to change. but, please. i'm not god. i can't just change overnight. i don't want things to become this way. therefore, i apologise. i meant it. you were one of those i really cared for. one of those close to my heart. so, why is it that you didn't think you were in fault too. it takes to stones to start a fire, it takes two hands to clap. when you did wrong, i lent my hand to clear up everything. so why is it when i did wrong? there isn't your hand to hel me clear up the everything? 我只能说，对不起。但旁观者清。

最近发觉到很多东西。
有些事情被蒙在鼓里未必是件坏事。
不懂得真相就只能猜测，
猜测能有多过一百零一个可能性。
能够不断的猜测也没人管。

但，如果你知道真相了，
就不能逃避，不能假装，不能假装若无其事。
也不能在他人面前装作什么都不知道。
无发当作什么都没发生。

知道真相后，在他人面前一定会很尴尬。
没办法面对他。

我现在的心情是否有人能够理解呢?
有没有人能够告诉我该这么办?

things untold doesn't mean they will never be told.
&it doesn't mean it doesn't matter.

oh crap lah.
nowadays everything's crap.

when i smile and laugh,
it doesn't necessarily means that i'm fine.
don't use your assumptions on me.

damn pissed nowadays.
i don't know why.
exams are round the corner, kinda really afraid that i'll stay back.
also, i don't feel like dropping to n(a) or being in the same class as the juniors.
it's really irritating yeah.

there's gonna be lessons and camps during the holidays, i guess we can't have holidays anymore already.
it's just studying for the next few months and the entire year next year.
hais.

duty-free vodka(:




jiaqi,me,lena& jessie




lena, jessie, jiaqi, sengie, me& minhui



lena,sengie,jessie,haimei,jiaqi,me,minhui




minhui,sengie& jessie;act cute pose 1.




sengie,me with lennie's specs and jessie.




sengie,me &jessie with lennie's specs.




the hypering starts; sengie hugging minhui




jessie hugging sengie




diao si mi diao




sengie with sotong mouth




the high eye-brows start.




& it goes everywhere.




auto hug(sengie made lena hug her) :I




woo.. titanic




the siao cha bor.



很多事情是在你后悔时，
就已经来不及了。
能做的就只有放手。
但，并不想放手，
想挽回所有失去的一切。
我又能做什么来挽回呢？
我不知道，似乎也没人能告诉我怎么办。

super long never blog already.
i know it's a bad time to start blogging again now.
however, there are somethings to upload lah.
shall upload later.

end of years coming.
in about 2 weeks.
hope to have a chalet for sengie during birthday after the exams.
but, there are some problems now.
during the first 2-3 weeks of the holiday, there will be extra supplementary lessons for us.
means, we can't have a chalet then.
on top of that, 7 and 8 is deepavali.
means it's a public holiday.
the chalet is gonna cost a bomb of about 300+ to 400.
so, shall think about it again.

studies are terrible.
i seems to keep failing.
shall buck up already.
can't afford to fail EOY.
=S

it has been 6 months.
yet i'm still struggling with this feeling.
this feeling of not knowing what to do, what to say in order to clear this awkwardness.
doubt anyone can help me in this.
even if there is someone who can help me, i guess there'll only be that one person.

010807(:

wee hee hee!
my birthday lahh.
school was rather okay.
dnt was crap as usual.
after school had investiture for a little while then had to go back for dnt course until 4.30

how pathetis right?
birthday also need go course, can't even go out immediately after school.
nevermind.

after that went to bugis to meet jasmine with him.
slacked for 1 and a half hours waiting for jasmine.
we walked around initially.
but i got bored out eventually cause i was super tired.
jasmine finally arrived at 6.30

went to swensens.
we ordered 4 main courses.
cause 4 main courses only cost the price of 3.
hahas!

then we had 1 birthday firehouse.
wee~
thank you jasmine jiejie

after that roamed around for awhile then go take mrt go home already.
next day still got school.
zzz.

anyways; received these for my birthday.
not alot, but they were my favourite~
and, i'm contented already(:

1. me-to-you bear from lennie, jessie and sengie.
2. newurbanmale sling bag from him.
3. myuk latest design pencil box for jason.
4. myuk latest design hanhphone pouch from him.
5. a box of ferrero rocher from daddy.
6. a swensens treat from jasmine jiejie.
7. a pizza hut treat from daddy.
8. a wallet from mummy.
9. a present from kaijing.

haha!
super duper contented with the bag.
i mean lah!
i have been wishing and hoping for NUM things for months.
i really did know about the brand lah.
unlike some people who only monkey see monkey want.

i was pretty dumb lah.
jasmine jiejie wanted to buy havannais for me for birthday present.
i told her nevermind.
it's okay lah.
actually i really really want it very very much.
but, to think back, it's not very practical isn't it?
the design is on the base where you place your leg on.
if you wear it too often, the design goes off.
and there goes your 49.90
i think i'd prefer something more practical or something that can last longer.
if i really want that, i'll buy it myself when i work during the holidays.
i swear i'd earn my own money and use my hard earned money to buy myself that to use my parent's money.
like that then i'll treasure it more.

*sengie, don't pin too high hopes that i might get those for you.
it depends. really(:
you didn't give me that, why i must give you that ah?!
lols!

pending treats from:
1. xiao clarence, sakae sushi.
2. andrew erzi, sakae sushi.
3. jiaqi*my dearest*, sakura.

oh, just realised that all the restaurant name start with an 'S'

well, really like all my present!
muahahah~
thanks to all~!!!

i love all of you!

well oh well,

5 more nice and sweet 14 years old hours~
(:

well, haven't been blogging for quite a longgg time already lah.
but, shall type a post for my dearest sengie eh..

hey girl, you'll turn 15 in a few months too okay!
so don't complain.
anyways, though we always quarrel, i still really treat you as my very very best friend.
true may be that i neglected you for the past few months but you're really my very very bestie. also, among the people in FAM, i think i quarrel the most with you before bah?
however, you're also the one whereby i get over it very soon.
one moment we may be quarrelling but the next moment we'll still be hyper as ever.
I really treasure this friendship and hope it'll last even after we graduate okay?
it's really nice that i can have a friend like you.
it's not often where we can meet friends like you right?

however, haven't been very hyper with you for quite sometime eh?
i still remember those times when we can go really crazy.
Still, friends forever~
okay?
(:

hmms..
won't be blogging from the 4th to 11th.
cause i'll be in melbourne.

lots of things still undone.
i haven't done te melbourne homework, packing my clothes.
i take a super long time to pack my bag lah.
and i'm not really sure how to do the homework.
so, i'm dead lah..

leaving on monday 9pm flight.
have to reach airport by 6.30
check in at 7.

will be back on the 11th.
about 5.45 will reach singapore already.

gonna miss my computer lots.
and my parents refuse to let me bring my handphone.
so, i'll miss my phone even more lah.

shall blog again another day bah..

fuck lah.

i don't know what the fuck you're uphappy about lor.
it's my problem right?
to say it in a mean way, it's none of your business.

why did i start treating you so coldly?
you ask yourself that question.
who was it that who started treating me coldly first.
who was that was who always scold me for every single thing on earth even if it has nothing to do with me at all.

i'll decide what to do myself.
i don't need you to give so much comment behind my back.
if you're so unhappy about it, tell me face to face lah.
what's the point of telling others behind my back?

i know it was my entirely my fault about what happened that day.
i don't deny that too.
i feel bad too.
i was guilty about it.

she is still afterall my 3 years friends.
i learnt my lesson that day already.
she is not my back up friend.
she is my bestie.
i don't care what you all say.
you all may say that i don't look like i treat her my best friend.
but i know i do.

fucking fuck off any mind your own business.

well oh well..
it has been a long long time since i blogged.
so, decided to blog now since i'm pretty free now..
try to blog more often also.

hmms..
many things happened lah..
i can't remember everything now.
but oh..
it's holiday already.
my results are a total horrid.
all c5, c6(s)
1 e8 and my mum is already screaming.
nevertheless, i got an a1.
okay, it's better than none.

hmms.. going to melbourne on the 4th to 11th.
yay!
however, there's council camp on the 19,20,21.
-.-
nevermind.
this year is for us to enjoy yeah.

friday was crap lah..
went to school for hours.
then after school had meeting for the sl(s) going to melbourne.
the meeting for pretty long.
went to council room to choose our blazers.
feel like taking the blazer for dry cleaning leh.

after that, mother came for ptc at 4.
whatever man.

at night, went expo with mum, aunty rosie and jasmine.
bought ICE-CREAM to stock up in the fridge(:
yay!

saturday was alright.
jessie, shan and i went to mac to try and study.
but we ended up playing with xiao qing qing.
shall upload the pics later if possible.
horrible people.
torturing my xiao qing qing.
so ke lian..

went home to change after that and went to club.
went to snooker room to find jason, jiejie and michelle.. only to find out that mindy was there as well.
played for awhile.
i laughed till i got a slight sore throat.
was really funny and dumb man.

after that, i played with shanshan.
she scored the black ball.
i win! yay.
but i followed her footsteps in the next round.
scored the black ball too.
what the hell.
nevermind.

after that, we went to play bowling.
first round was okay.
second round was no way.
my scored was like shyt.

after playing and playing and playing in the arcade too,
we went to chomp chomp to makan.
went home by cab after that.
jessie, me and jiejie took one cab.
jason, michelle, mindy and baoshan took another cabby.
yay!

i reached home at 1.45
quite early already lah.
chatted on the phone and dozed off at 3.21
-.-

yesterday, meet jiejie and went raffles city to have lunch buffet together with aunty rosie and some others.
after that we went shop shop.
jiejie saw a few items.
they are the kind of.. wahlao-so-ex-comfirm-must-ask-mother-come kind of clothes.
after that, the rest of them went home
we went to buy hagen dasz ice-cream and went kbox @ suntec.
enjoyed ourselves pretty much until 9.30
went to take mrt home.
i got bullied by some people.
terrible bullied.
first time i lost to her in 14 years.
thanks to a certain someone siding her.
nevermind(:
i'll win back one day.

today is rather crappy.
going jiejie's house later.
get some stuffs.
the thing about me and jiejie is this.
i don't see her means i don't see her for months.
once i see her, i seem to see her everyday.

and, on the 12th or 13th or 14th.
there's an appointment;
my death appointment.
till then.

okays.. shall stop here for now.

oh.. it's has been like 1 alien month and a few alien days since i blogged.
many things happened within this 1 month plus.
good and bad.

okays..
exams period.
kinda sucky larh.
this year timetable they drag until 3 weeks.
somehow, i still have 1 more main paper to go.
unlike, jan, jie, yan, clar &shan.
they finished theirs already
still left with the rest of the FAM.
nevermind.

there is a trip to melbourne coming up.
i wanna go.
but not sure if can yet.
it's on the 3rd to 10th.
going melbourne and canberra.

anyways, chatted with mr leong ytd while waiting for those taking pure paper.
joking only larh. he's quite a nice person out of lessons.

mr leong: *stares at me with those kind of stupid look that he always gives me*
me: ehhs. stare what arh. RAWR!
mr leong: *walks towards me*
me: then i went crazy and said.. i burn your house ar!
mr leong: orh.. next time my house catch fire i know who to suspect already.
mr leong: i don't want bring you to melbourne already.
me: wahlao. you something bao something chou.
mr leong: it's gong bao si chou. i never gong bao si chou.
me: zzz. lalala.
mr leong: okay larh. actually bring you there can lah. never say bring you back what.
me: what the hell. you where can like that treat me! you horrible person.
mr leong: i'll just bring you there. then take your passport, burn your air-ticket.
me: ...
mr leong: oh ya. i'll call the immigration there too. i'll tell them there is an illegal immigrant here.
me: you horrible little thingy. RAWR!

after waiting for them to come down.
then went kfc makan.
after that then i had to chiong home to get the documents for collecting the passport.
jessie came along with me too.

reached ICA building at 4 sharp.
had to queue for 400 over number.
i was like.
wtf.

jessie went to do her ic.
den come down.
after that went up to wait for our number to mine and mummy's passport.
went to eat dinner after that.
then i told mummy i go back with jessie after dinner.
mummy and my aunt went to sim lim i think.

chatted on the mrt back.
did nothing much.
slacked slacked.

&you told me you'll take care of me as long as i don't leave.
yet you aren't even taking good care of yourself. i feel useless.

oh man.
i haven been blogging for quite some time already lah.

thursday
i was super dumb lah.
i was so panicky about my dnt work that i left the house without wearing my contact lenses.
i only realise that when i was at my house downstairs.

school time was boring as usual lah.
ss cannot sms at all.
mrs cross was sitting behind me.
and the lesson of mrs w___ was super ultra boring.
i was trying my best not to sleep.

didn't do anything during dnt.
mr l__ just teach us and talk about structure lors.
cause there was 4 absentees.
since left so little people, i also dunno teach was lah.

after recess was 3 periods of poa.
copied notes.
slack slack.
yay. 3 periods gone.

then was physics lesson.
mdm c____ came to our class to "observe" my class.
damn woman.
make me cannot go sleep.
i was really about to fall asleep during the first period while mr s__ was teaching.
i was "enlightened" dring the second period.
mr leong made me wake by taking zara's 6b pencil and write on my paper.
i had to erase everything.
then he took the pencil away and go wite on other people's paper.
-.-

did nothing much during maths.

after school went to princess to watch mr beab's holiday with sen, qi, jie, yan
something happened on our way there.

after the movie clarence and jessie came down to slack slack with us at princess's mac.
after that we took 28.
clar alighted at 201
jie alighted at his hse there.
jessie and i took till interchange.
andrew send me home.

FRIDAY
meet sengie at 12 plus.
walked around.
bought mini toons sweets.
after that we meet clar, jie and lennie at mrt station.
for once, lena was late.

when we were at the kallag station alrdy,
jiaqi called and told me she can go.
i was like -.-

when we reached plaza singapura,
the tickets for The Number 23 was selling fast.
i used sengie's and lena's e65 and go internet.
hahas.
go see which other threatre to watch.
meanwhile, ask jiaqi to faster come down.
supposingly, vivocity supposed to have.
but when we went down, they say totally sold out already.
wtf?

ended up,
we went to superdog to eat hotdogs.
-.-
i didn't eat.
cause i see the hotdog got alot of tomatoes then i don't wanna eat already.

after that, lena went to find her parents.
the rest of us went to take mrt.
all of us pei sengie alight at bedok.
then we took 28 to jiewei's house.
sengie went home.

jan went to jiewei's house also.
go play mahjong.
had duck rice for dinner.

play until halfway, jiaqi took over my place and play.
for all the times i went to jiwei's house, i always lose.
but jiaqi play only, she win!!!
RAWR!

eneded up, i'm the only one who never WIN at all.
rawr to jiaqi.
went home at 10 plus plus.
we passed by jasmine jiejie house downstairs.
then they keep on disturb me about cockroaches.
then afterthat, really got cockroach come out.
den i wanna run away, clarence dun wan let me run away.
RAWR!.

after that went to the bus stop.
pei clar wait for bus cause his 38 just left.
how sway -.-

reached home at 11.15

SATURDAY
some dumb woman called me early in the morning.
disturb my sleep only.
zzz.

went to mac and meet her.
saw someone else there too.

went there and actually, i didn't study at all.
jan came down too.
we slack slack.
then later that time then we talked about the chalet.
after that went home already.

everytime i decide to let go, something always has to come back and remind me. just how much i cared.

argh.
i just suddenly feel very fan now lors.
about lors of stuffs that i dun even know how to say.
i just wish everything will last. friendship, relationship as well as sisterhood.

well.
many things are happening recently.
but.. whatever lah.
i'm pissed off enough already.

MONDAY
had lessons as usual.
first 4 periods was english and ace.
chinese had test.
don't know how to do lah.
just anyhow do.

afetr that was ss.
it was surprising that i passed my ss test.
then we were released early cause of sl duties.

took 222 there.
sengie and i went to change into sl shirts.
had duty.
blah blah.
was very thirsty.
i was super dumb.
i was having gastrics and i still bought 100plus.

after sl went to kfc to eat with sen, shan, qi, clar, jie.
after that me, shan, jie and jan accompany clar to whitesands buy mouse.
after that we went back to tamp.
took 17.
some dumb boys behind was super noisy.
some people were attituding.
and they look scary):

then jan go ask those boys to talk softer.
say that they very noisy.

after we reach tecc.
clar and jie bought mac to eat.
i slacked there only.
went home at 8 plus.

TUESDAY
hmms.
today geo was okays.
chinese was quite funny larhs.
jiewei very funny.
yiyan very cute.
me and yiyan were talking bout stuffs.
jie was copying answers from others to let us copy(:

yan and i were having small talks.
were talking about it halfway.
then jiewei say.
"wahlao! i treat you so good. then got this kind of small talk then you leave me out. good lor"
hahas.
i told him after that.
dumb jiejie.

after recess was crap.
sucky hell.

after school took 18 with shan.
went to s11 there and makan.
after that went home and bath.
then go down mac again.

meet clar and jie also.
clar was sweating like he just bathed. you better drink more water lah..
hahas.
after that we went in mac.
clar went home soon after.
jie went home at 7.
shan and i stayed until 8 plus.
then we still chitchat at her house downstairs.
talked about really alot of things that is happening recently lors.

shall stop here for now.
my brother come back only then kpkb.
andand.
tmr got sl duty again.
i hope i don't get another headache and gastric again.
but got early release from lessons.
hahas.
so happy(:

gtg.
bye.

lalalas..
i'm now at tecc the mac with jiejie and shan.
clar went back be his guai kia.
go for his dumb tuition.

jiejie was forcing shan to eat fries.
so mean of him.
shan said she can't eat"fry food"
wow!
then her french fries became..
"french fry"
wow!

interesting words.
i swear i won't use them in my compo.
if not comfirm fail.
(:

shan just poked me because of it.
bleh-!
here comes again..
jiejie helps me(:
how nice of him.
he is asking shan not to cry.
bleh-!
like she will cry like that.
i'm saying she is strong okays!
then she gives me that dumb cheeky smile=S
then she beat me for nothing.
wow!

then there are some dumb kids in mac.
most likely sec 1[s] larhs.
blasting music.
quite dumb larhs.

then there is a group of dumb girls from chongzheng primary staring at one another.
so lame.
wow.
i see a tortoise with them.
it must be suffering now.
cause the poor little tortoise have to see those dumb girls eat their french fries.
-.-
jiejie.. at least i'm smarter than them.
i dun mistreat the tortoise like them.
not like janus.
make until my tortoise wan to do "fen sheng shu"
jiaqi baoshan doesn't understand the meaning of that.
she is dumb.

lalalas.
poke again.
all that dumb baoshan knows is to poke people.
no creativity.

wow.
primary kids are reading teenage.

shall end now.
bye.

wah sian sian..
so boring.
now at mac with sengie.
waiting for janus to come down as well.
got nothing to do.

brought the laptop out..
wanted to do chinese de.
but i don't know why i'm not doing.
maybe i'm just too bored.
zzz.

wah sian.
many things happened these few days.
many things to blog.
BUT!
i just saw something just now and it totally ruin my mood.

thats my handphone bill.
wahlaos!
i also don't know why it overshot.
it was NOT supposed to overshot.
and even if it really did, it should be lesser than last month.
BUT! the damn bill came and it was $60 over dollars.
i only saw the back page.
i couldn't find the front page.

how am i gonna survive without my phone?!
wah sian!

people.. don't call or msg my phone.
if there is anything to tell me, call my hse fone.

I never meant the things I said

To make you cry

Can I say I'm sorry

It's hard to forget

And yes I regret

All these mistakes

I don't know why you're leaving Me

But I know you must have your reasons

There's tears in your eyes

I watch as you cry

But it's getting late

Was I invading in on your secrets

Was I too close for comfort

You're pushing me out

When I'm wanting in

What was I just about to discover

When I got too close for comfort

Driving you home

Guess I'll never know

Remember when we scratched our names into the sand

And told me you loved me

But now that I find

That you've changed your mind

I'm lost for words

And everything I feel for you

I wrote down on one piece of paper

The one in your hand

You won't understand

How much it hurts to let you go

Was I invading in on your secrets

Was I too close for comfort

You're pushing me out

When I'm wanting in

What was I just about to discover

I got too close for comfort

Driving you home

Guess I'll never know

All this time you've been telling me lies

Hidden in bags that are under your eyes

And when I asked you I knew I was right

But if you turn your back on me now

When I need you most

But you chose to let me down

Won't you think about what you're about to do to me

And back down...

Was I invading in on your secrets

Was I too close for comfort

You're pushing me out

When I'm wanting in

What was I just about to discover

I got too close for comfort

You're pushing me out

When I'm wanting in

(Yeh yeh yeh)

What was I just about to discover

When I got too close for comfort

Driving you home

I guess I'll never know

does anyone realise how disappointed i am?
i don't know what's with all these things that are happening around me.
well, this is the longest time that we "quarrelled" right?
there hasn't been anytime that is longer than this.

i know that i was at wrong for neglecting you.
now i regret it can?
i doubt anyone understands how i feel at all.
i feel so terrible inside.
even so, can you not always ask me to go to him instead?
so is this the punishment that you are giving me?
the punishment for neglecting you.
i almost wished that you could understand how i feel.
i almost wished that you could forgive me.
i almost wished that you knew.

wished you knew that i doted on you.
wished you knew how much you mean to me.
wished you knew nothing and no one replace you.
wished you knew i will never break the promise.

why can't i go to you instead?
so the answer is because he already dotes on me.
and do u really no longer don't dote on me anymore?
i don't wanna guess or hear lies anymore.
i wan you to say it right in my face. but i'm afraid that might not be able to take it.
why can't we go back to how we used to be like?
why can't we?
so, this is how fragile we are?

know what she told me about it?
she told me i was jealous.jealous of you and the Her.
know what she told me about too?
she told me you are jealous too. jealous of me and him being too close.
thats what she thinks.
so, what are you actually thinking?
i want to hear you say them.

if you wanna know mine, fine.
i would dare to say that, i'm jealous of her.
i don't know why.
so, what about you?
do you have any freaking idea that, just a phrase from you.
and it can inflict many scars? i doubt you know that.

why don't you tell me everything? everything that is bothering us now. maybe not us. just me.
perhaps it isn't even affecting you in any way.

okays.
didn't blog again.
so.. i shall blog now.

monday
it was raining super heavily in the morning.
had to run to school.
too bad, my uniform got all wet.
quite a number of people also.
hahas.
but! i sit under the damn fan in class!
sobsob.
so cold.

after school went to kfc with sengie and shan.
sen and i kopped straws from kfc until we emptied 2 containers.
okays. actually, it's sengie. not me.
i'm innocent.
saw heather and lynn in kfc.
they were watching us laughing away i think.
nevermind.

we went tm after that.
sengie went to collect things.
after that shan and i sent sen to take 67
after that walked to tecc.
talked to shan about alot of things.
these things that have been haunting me for so long.

saw brenda and zara there.
clarence and jessie came to find us after that.
slacked for awhile before going home.
we saw a damn bat.
so we decided to take an alternate route.
hahas.

had a pretty high fever in the night.
and my head hurts like hell.

tuesday
thats today.
my head is spinning and spinning..
lalalas~

after school slacked at 3a2 for quite sometime with shan, clar and jie.
after that went to the bb court near yanyan hse.
before that we went to makan at tampines mart.
it has been super long since i went there okays.

went there after that.
jan arrived soon after that.
they played basketball while me and jessie talked.
then after that they started playing with 2 other guys and RON TAN!

okays.
i am scared of the damn ball coming towards me.
i have always scared.
yet they play until can dribble right infront of me.
RAWR!

pretty scary.
well.
clarence got scratched on his hand.
o.O

after that, we took 291.
went to buy yiyan's prepaid card for him.
i'm a nice sister okays!
otherwise i would have gone home straight, especially when i'm on the damn bus 291.
RAWR!

wanted to pass yan the ppc since he say they were gonna be released soon.
so i waited for awhile.
after that decided to go home already.
jiaqi called me right after i stepped into the house door.
-.-

well.
thats all for today bahs.

actually, i'm having a damn headache again.

tmr gonna have meeting for sec3s.
zzz.
i think i'm gonna go home and sleep after that bahs.
hahas!

yawns!

and i can't stop thinking about what's going on..

oh..
quite some time never blog already lar.
hmms..

WEDNESDAY
i didn't go for the dnt course after school(:
sen,me, qi, lennie, jan, clar, yiyan and ryan took 67 to tampines interchange.
talk about stuffs on the way.
while i pei sengie go nokia care to repair her phone,
the rest went to find space at mac.
settled for the big mac at the interchange.

we talked alot of crap.
they were supposed to have amaths tuition with yiyan de.
ended up yiyan and ryan went home earlier.
clar, qi, lennie and me were talking about perverted XXX stuffs at mac.
while jan and sen were folding hearts.

childrens nowadays arhs.
talk about this kind of things like nobody's business.
we just said everything out. dun care what other people thinks.
we were there laughing until peng.
then jiaqi was doing something that was super obscene.
then i keep on laughing.
then i told clar and lennie.
then they started laughing also.
jiaqi was alittle bit slow.
hahas!

after that pei lena go cs.
then we walked around.
we went 'toys r us' also.
the first thing that they played with was the soft toys.
they placed to toys in the ahem ahem positions.
jan was running around when he knocked into a woman.
it reminds me of the flying ah ma by clar.
lols.

lena was reading her comic.
super engrossed.
then clar and jiaqi started fighting with the piyo piyo hammer.
chasing around each other in the shop.
it is really super embarrassing lors.

after that then i send jiaqi off.
sengie went to pierce another ear hole.
went home after that.
it was raining heavily.

THURSDAY
went to eat at kfc with jiewei, sengie, lena and jessie.
janus came later and we went to jiewei's house.
it was raining heavily.
i got bullied on the bus by janus and jiewei.
mean people.
they threatened me with my phone.
aw..
reached jiewei's house.
obviously didn't do chinese work larhs.

after awhile clarence came.
i didn't know he was coming.
i got bullied by them again.
cause they took my phone again.

this time, they on the song.
then clarence put inside his pe pants.
please lors.
he was wearing long pants.
but he go put inside his pe pants okays!
den he sit down!
ahh!
my phone! my speaker!
after awhile, we went to play mahjong.
starting is clarence keep on losing money.
then play halfway then they realised that they count wrong tai.
play play play until 8.30.

in the end, i lost the most.
jiewei won the most.
most of the time is jiewei and janus win.
zzz.
after that we walked to the bus stop with is pretty near my house.
then clar took 38 home, jessie took 8 home.
jan pei me walk home.

FIRDAY
hmms.
after school went mac with jan, sen, qi and jiejie.
kopped alot of straws(:
sengie keep on smiling to herself.
it makes me and jiaqi want to go crazy.
lalalas.
at about 2.45 jan and jiejie went back school.
sen, qi and me left at 3.
took 67.
sengie can't stop smiling.
jiaqi went home.
sengie and i went tm.
went popular.
looked at things.
then sengie bought things.

after that then i went home already.
but at around 8 plus.
clarence called.
ask me go down tecc slack.
so i agreed lors.
since jiaqi asked me before that too.
got nagged by my mother for that.
cause of stuffs larhs. went down to tecc.
can't find clar and jan at mac.
then i decided to go to the bb court and see see.
they are really there.
they all play until very sweaty lors.
jiaqi came down soon after that too.

janus and clarence used my shirt and wipe their sweat.
then i was like wth?
nevermind.
we went in mac after that.
cause they really sweat until alot.
so thought go inside and cool down.
clarence go and put his shirt on me!
it is so dirty!

after awhile. we saw yanyan!
oh.. our dear yiyan.
lols!
chatted for awhile.
then we went to the bus stop.
clar and qi crossed the bridge to go home.
jan, yan and i slacked at the bus stop for awhile looking at people opposite.
after that they 2 send me to my house downstairs.
cause i need to go home already.

SATURDAY
thats today. did practically nothing.
i woke up at 6.05 then i suddenly remembered that it's saturday.
so went back to sleep.
sleep until 12 plus.
woke up and slack.
then watched 'JUST MY LUCK'
quite lame lar.

slack slack slack.
and i like got alot of homework to do lehs.
sian diao. i think tmr going white sands buy things. anyone wanna go???
and then i think after that i will go tecc find my dearest jiaqi(: and yanyan of course!


some people sound so cute when they are sleeping.
i'm gonna see you sleep one day.
lalalas~
RAWR!

i don't know why..
but i have been feeling very sleepy these few days.
and i will feel like sleeping very often.
even though i'm sleeping earlier now, compared to last time.

wonder how am i gonna ton council camp at this rate..
hais.
and i often feel like crying nowadays.
cause of all these things happening around me.
hais..

oh man..
i got a feeling that i made someone angry today.
but the person says never..
don't really believe though.
nevertheless, still sorry okays?
i promise you that i will take out the straws the next time you ask me okays?
sorry la..
and then, i feel so guilty again when i keep dragging time when you wanna go home..
ended up with such a heavy rain..
you look so angry again..
dui bu qi again!

i feel so damn horrible today.
hais.
First was making people angry..
next is neglecting people..
then, next is.. argh. don't wanna talk about it.
i only know that i wanted to cry out a few times in school today..
i just suddenly feel like crying it all out.
but the more things i keep to myself, the more problems come along.

我没想到我们之间真的那么经不起考验。
我知道这所有的一切都是我的错。
我们已经不者么好了，加上这一次吵架，我不知道会发生什么。
但我想要你知道，我真的真的真的不想放手。
可是，如果你真的真的真的真的很想要离开。
我想我也不懂得要这么阻止你。
我也没有权力阻止你。
所以我想我会让你走，我会学会懂得放手。
毕竟我会想要我哥哥开心。
但其实我真的不想要你离开我。
算我自私吧，我无所谓。

call me selfish,
i know i'm.
i have been one, all along.

i wish i can just tell you this straight in your face.
i don't want things to turn out this way.
i feel so horrible.
i know it's all my fault that things turn out like this.

i don't know how to ask for your forgiveness.
so can you tell me..
tell me what i must do in order for me to get your forgiveness?
wo zhen de bu zhi dao ying gai yao ze me yang cai ke yi de dao ni de yuan liang?

tell me that it's not over.

okay..

it has been pretty long since i uploaded pics here uh..

so i shall just upload afew today.

13 jan: at starbucks slacking(:

21feb: lena tries to bite me): aww!

4th mar: celebrate da jie and weiquan's birthday(:

23feb: original slice of cake (mine)

23feb: cake after one bite (sengie)

23feb: cake halfway eaten (jessie)

23feb: cake finishing (jiaqi!)

5th mar: jiejie outside bedok interchange

5th mar: jan.sen.yan

5th mar: yan.jan

21th feb: lena's birthday cake(:

6th mar: shan.jie.sen at kfc

6th mar: the retarded faces =S

6th mar: sen.jie

12th mar: me &sen at marina kbox.

12th mar: bleh! xP

12th mar: bugs bunny tooth(:

10th mar: these roses to pray to you.

10th mar: roland restaurant.

14th mar: high class sharks' fin"

lols..

more to come in the future.

(:

hmms..
didn't really have a good sleep last night.
thanks to the headache and the flu.

okay..
i woke up at 7am this morning.
thats miracle.
talked to clar for awhile before he went for his chinese tuition.
after that went to watch hana kimi.
i'm still so far behind.
what the hell.

okays.
meet clar at2o1.
went over to jieweijiejie house.
supposed to do chinese.
but...
they ended up playing dota.
and i ended up talking to jiaqi on the phone.
but janus and clarence took away the phone.
they refused to return me.
aww..

i began screaming and shouting for jiaqi.
tried to go over janus's side to get the phone back but failed terribly.
cause clarence dun wan let me go over.
sad larh.

they only returned me my phone after 30mins.
but as soon as jiaqi call back again they took away the phone.
what the hell!
i began screaming and shouting again.
until finally they returned me my phone.
so i went next door and talk to jiaqi.
my headache and fever came back again.
zzz..
clarence keep on come over and make those obscene sounds to jiaqi.
damn dumb.

after that we ordered mac.
yiyan suddenly came out of the room with the scooter.
super funny.
i mean.. where people use the scooter around the whole house one?
after the mac delivery came, ate.
and baoshan came over.
we slacked for awhile.

clarence, jiewei and me went to the kitchen to open red wine.
after that we went to play mahjong!
after playing 1 round, see them play 1 round.
then i went down and fetch jiaqi.
jiewei accompanied me down.

came up and watch them play for 2 rounds.
then i played also.
i won 2 rounds.
hahas..
was super hyper.
but 1 of them was zha hu!
ahhh... wth.
nevermind.
heng never play money.
yiyan left earlier than us..
T.T

after playing then we left jiewei's house.
janus, clarence, me and jiaqi sent baoshan home.
then after that we went to have our dinner at kfc.
the food is like uncooked lors.

after the 3 of them finish eating, they started playing.
i was super jialat.
cause i haven finish eating.
and what they did was argh.
it can ruin your appetite.

this is what they did..


would you like to taste it?
"high class sharks' fin"
consists of:
1. lots of chilli sauce
2. ice
3. a little ice lemon tea
4. lemon
5. tissue paper
6. straw
7. vegetables.
8. water
9. cheese

disgusting right?
initially it looked like sharks' fin.
clarence said that.
after they added certain things inside.
it looks totally....
nevermind.

they actually shake it alot of time u know!
they close the cover,
use serviettes to hold the things and shake.

we quickly run away after the cleaner wanna come and clean.
lols.
to prevent a repetition of what happen at macdonalds.

after that then we went home already.
sian-ed.
and.. we didn't do the chinese at all.

talked on the phone with jiaqi until 1am.
then she went to sleep.
i after to sleep soon after that.

oh..
i'm oh-so-sickly now..

had a headache when i woke up this morning.
but i thought nothing of it.

when down for lunch with jasmine and jason.
after that went to the void deck nearby play badminton cause it was raining outside.
after awhile we decided to go to the outdoor court to play.
it wasn't raining already.

after we played for about 5mins,
it started to drizzle and the sun was shinning brightly.
we were thinking since already get wet abit already.
then might as well just play larh.

but after we finish playing then we slack slack abit.
then i started to get headache again.
a super ultra pain one.
then my forhead and neck and body very hot, but my hands and legs super cold.
jasmine treated us drink.
cause she lost the game.
not badminton larh.

after the drink we went home.
supposed to go home and bath then meet again.
but my whole body just feels so weak, and i'm having a freaking headache and fever.
so i'm just gonna stay at home and be guai hai zi.

don't ask me why i can still use the computer.
i was because got things to do.
:(( i'm sick.

i wish i can just fucking hell die now.
we are already not as close as before.
looks like the arguement will only make things worser than ever.
hais.

and i fucking hate myself now.
and i realise it's all my fault.

i wasn't there when you needed me,
i encouraged you to like him back. cause i thought he would be better than the other guy.
never did i expect such things to happen too.
maybe i shouldn't say a thing.

it's all my fault that i can't make out what you are thinking.
i didn't know you are so tired of it.
no.
i didn't know you are really so sick and tired of it.
i admit that i was in the wrong for scolding you.
but i don't mean a single thing.

i know it's all my fault.
i attitude you, but it became your fault.
i'm sorry.
you forget what to say, it become your fault.
i'm sorry.
i ask you go msg just cause u typed a msg, it become your fault.
i'm sorry.

i don't even mean what i said to you yesterday.
what wrong with me man.
so, i know it all now.
it all should be my fault to start with.
it shouldn't even be anyone else's fault.

you want me to tell you.
you say i'm unhappy.
and since thats the case, i should tell you.
but have you thought why is it that i'm unhappy?
cause i think i need you.
so can you fucking hell stop letting go?
why can't it be how it used to be?

i spent the whole night thinking and
fell asleep with these tears on my cheeks.
i realised.
i don't have an answer to anything.
i don't know what to do.
i'm totally lost.

so..
can you tell me what you wanna do?
if you really wanna leave.
if that's really what you want to do,
just tell me.
i won't be as cruel to hold you back.
but all i can do is to HOPE that you wouldn't leave.

don't leave. cause i know very well that i need you..

i jus remembered what happened yesterday night.
i was on the phone with clarence.
and i got fooled by him for 15 times.

i told him..
i shall try not to scold any vulgarities.
and he started trying to catch me scolding.
zzz.

and.. i got fooled by him by huh-ing.
he made me huh many many times.
longest record, *31 huhs.

meanass.
-.-

eventually, i told him, i'm not gonna try not to scold vulgarities already.
it's difficult.
cause i keep saying what the fuck?
zzz..

okays..
haven got the time to blog thanks to my brother who is always on the computer.
yeaps..

SATURDAY
hmms..
went for the homecoming dinner.
meet lena and baoshan at 12.
went to takashimaya for kinokuniya.
=)

we were in kinokuniya for about an hour plus?
helped lena look for books.
before we were about to leave,
i saw the BOOK OF ANSWERS

so..
started to try it out.
just for the fun of it..
end up baoshan also started looking at it too.
we asked about certain things.
the answers are really damn freaky lah.
they seem to feel answer to your questions.
then me and shan got this answer..
ask your mother and ask your father

after that, we went to eat.
and after that,
took mrt back to school.
cause need to report in school by 3.45
we don't need to wear blazers!

we reached roland resturant at about 4.15
-.-'''
dinner was rather lame.
we did ushering.
then sengie and i had to sell roses.
like what the hell!
but the profit was rather okay lehs.

when the dinner was about to end,
shazlin started to get disgusting..
zzz..
the take a cup, fill it with roses petals, and fill it with water.
it's nice.
but after that, they started using the straw and poke it.
until the get roses water..
-.-
disgusting.

after the dinner,
jess, lennie, jan, shan, clar and me went to princess mac.
ate macflurry.
then after that we took the last 18.
went home.
reached home at almost 1.
slept at 3+
zzz..

TODAY
hmms.
was supposed to meet sengie at 12.
but i woke up at 11.51
den she keep on calling and rush me.
make me go gan chiong.
ate yoshinoya.
waited for clar to come down.

den sengie started to kisiao.
she keep looking at the aquarium.
den comment about how cute those fishes look like.
then after that we went up.

and.. something super embarrassing happened.
we were at the converse fair dere.
then this was what sengie did..
sengie: shan. see this black shoe. can get it from minsan's daddy shop for $10.
and it's selling for $39 here. what the hell! *throws the shoe back
salesman: excuse me.. may i help you?
sengie: *stares at the salesman, give the peace sign, walks away.
salesman: *looks at sengie with the err.. look.

clar faster walk out of the fair.
i was laughing my way out.
den after that clar keep trying to avoid standing close to sengie.

after that sengie got obsessed with some wugui.
den we tried dragging her away.
den she says she will leave after the wugui drop into the water.
den the tortoise keep on never jump.
dne when she look away den it jumped into the water.
HAHA!
clar and i saw..
but.. sengie, you are not fated to see it jump into the water lah.

then we went to but takopachi.
sengie and i ate bacon and cheese.
clar ate octopus.
sengie and i got siaosiao over the thingy on top of the ball ball.
after that sengie went to buy her hairband.
den we went cheers to buy my lollipop.
me and sengie took cab to marina square for kbox.
clar went to school.

this is the first time that i go kbox then have nothing much to sing.
then first time that we leave so much earlier.

after that went home.
wanted to ask clar come up pei me mummum dinner.
but.. after i bath finish then he call me say finish volleyball..
zzz..

nevermind.

oh man..
today is such a boring day.
can't go out at all.
cause my dad didn't bring his house key.
-.-''

woke up at 10.30 plus.
that was a miracle man.
so early..

slacked around and then went 2o1 eat with shan.
after eating then she come my house
i wanted to go my house downstairs do homework.
but my dad say cannot.
so no choice lors.

so.. she came and..
yes.
in the end.
i help her do her english comprehension.
so damn easy can.
wahlao.

slack slack and slack.
and.. the boring day passed.
now it's night time already.
tmr going out..
yay!

but!
tmr need go school.
and i didn't know we have to wear blazers like until just?
what the hell!

today is just. yet another day.
i'm counting down to the march holidays.
went to school as usual.
and.
i forgot to bring my damn wallet.

first 2 lessons had poa.
ms wong came up for about less than 10 mins only then she went down.
cause she came in super late.
next was pe.
did some lame passing of chairs.
then help mr halim to arrange the chairs.
then recess already.

i was just unhappy about certain things lar.
but, i was fine after recess already.
we saw our marks for combined sci also.
it's a miracle i passed.
:))

after school i got super pissed.
and then damn sway.
we placed our books under the railing there.
then we accidentally pushed it and it all fell 4levels down.
jus to sway ms ***** saw us picking up the books.
then she asked us what happened.
then some people go say
other people throw the books down.
wth?!
dun extra la.

after that den i damn dulan already
my books are all spoiled.
and some people have to come and provoke me.
damn it.
went to 3a2 find shan and clar.
wen to mac with shan, sen, jan, yan, jie, clar

got pissed while on the way there to find out about something.
and i got super angry.
i just don't feel like talking.
shall not elaborate.
it just makes me angry.

they were supposed to go study amaths.
but ended up folding hearts with straws.
thanks to baoshan.
-_-'''

slacked awhile only.
then leave already.
before mac, we got kinda scolded by the cleaner aunty for wasting straws.
i'm not involved.
but yiyan was.
and.. very clever.
first one to walk away.

after that then go home already.
:)
nothing much today.

argh. damn it..
everytime i wanna blog, my brother wanna use.
so..
just a short post.
went kfc to slack and to wait for sen jus now.
i was with shan, clar and jiejie.
clar was doing his amaths.
jiejie was teaching him.
shan was reading vampire knight.
i got nothing to do.
slack den after shan finished the book.
i lied on the table.
wanting to rest for awhile.
fell asleep.
shan fell asleep too.

i could hear noises.
but jus can't wake up.
until clar came beside me and then shake my head.
argh.
i wake up.
kena shocked that he suddenly shake my head when i sleeping sia.
after that den abit attitude de..
but wasn't angry or what larhs.
it's just that i will attitude attitude like that.
shan woke up too.

we slack slack awhile.
den go buy food eat.
after slacking and joking ard.
me, sengie and jiejie took some pics.
shall upload pictures another day.
i 've got lots of them.
hahas!

we then took 28 home.
got bullied by clar they all again.
hurhur!
so kelian..

gtg.
shall blog another day when i'm home early.
:)

even if i don't show it, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

oh.. okay.
i just remembered what happened on the 24th.
yeaps.
it's the first time that our FAM can go out together with everyone present.
hmms.
clar arrived in the afternoon.
we played cards.
then a while of mahjong.
after that, jan came!
soon after was yan then jiejie.

okay.
in the night, at about 9+,
we all took 29 and went to tm.
the bus journey was a horrible one.
i was tortured by the guy thanks to the word, "hi 5!"
zzz..
my hair got messed up like siao.

we went to watch THE EPIC MOVIE.
hahas!
funny movie.
they said it was some sexual humor.
but in fact, it is like.
almost the whole show is sexual humour lors.

after the show then yiyan have to go back le.
sobs!
the rest of us went back to lena's hse.
played blanket party.
i got sabotaged too.

after that, jiaqi and jessie went to sleep:)
me, shan, sen, len, jan, clar,jie went to playground.
jan drank tiger beer,
len didn't drink at all.
jie and i drank vodka.
the rest of them drank barcadi breezer:)
sen's face went all red.

went back and soon fell asleep pretty soon.
i sent clar out to the main road at about 2.3 like that.
jiejie went back at 6+ almost 7.
jan went back at 10+ about 11.
shan and i took a taxi and went back at 12+
jessie's dad sent jessie and jiaqi back.

lalalicious.

u wanna know what i'm unhappy about?
okay fine.
i'll tell you everything.

i haven't even been happy since the beginning of the year.
except for certain occasions.

i feel that you dote on them more than on me.
i don't know why, but it feels that way.
i feel that you are closer to her now.
i just feel that i don't mean anything to you.

right.
true enough,
i talk on the phone with the both of you.
but, i know very well now, who i dote on more.
i know who means more to me.
not that i don't care about him.
i care of both, alot.
but it's just different.
sometimes, no matter how much i teng him, it can't be compared to yours.
i know that hurting whichever will make me more xintong.

why didn't i tell you?
cause you weren't there when i needed you.
you were somewhere else msg-ing or with someone else.
then when i wanna tell you, there is hardly the chance.

sometimes i really don't wanna hear anymore of these promises.
simply cause you all don't always seem to keep them.
they are just like words that come out of your mouth without thinking.

you promised to be there for me always. and also never leave me.
that's the latest promise.
that's the promise that you told me just that day.
but, know what?
i don't feel you there anymore.
it seems like you were only there that night.
then when i wake up the next day, things return back to square one.
back to how it was before then.
seems to me that you don't even remember the promise.

i really feel that i mean of nothing to you at all.
there isn't a place for me to exist.
the feeling just sucks.

if you can't read this post.
i really don't know how to tell you already.
this isn't all that i've got to say.
there is more to come.

now that i've told you mine,
will you tell me yours?
honestly, i don't think so.

all i want now, is some assurance.
i don't wanna make anymore assumptions.

ni dao di hai teng wo mah?
will you really promise to be there for me always. and never leave?
i hope this to be the last time i'm asking it.

oh man!
clarence is such a mean brother.
hmph!

wahlao.
and then like so don't trust me like that.
fine.

oh gosh.
it has been like so long since i blogged!
and.. yes.. many things happened.
but.. i couldn't blog as my comp crashed.
awww...
it's kinda fine already.

shall blog about to events that happened recently.
21th FEB.
yeah.
it's my dear lennnie birthday.
and and.
also her granny's 80th chinese birthday.

so, a dinner was held to celebrate and the raffles town club.
we had school as usual on that day.
jus that the whole school was released early on that day cause the o'lvl results were good.
after school.
went home.
bath and prepared everything.

meet shan then jessie dad come and fetch us to go lennie's house with jan, qi,& jess.
waited for lena then after that her dad sent us to the club.
nice place uh.
there was a room for all of us.
we thought it was just like a normal room like study place lar.
it turned out to be like a hotel room.
-_-'''

okay.
slacked around.
lena cut her cake.
nice cake.
yummy.

went to look around the club.
finally settled down at the snooker room.
as expected.
played till it was time to go to the dinner lors.
at first, those going for the dinner was only 8 of us.
but clarence could make it last minute.
so.. yeahs.
he went as well.
so only sengie wasn't there.

this was how we sat.
(clockwise)
len's dad, mum, yan, clar, me, qi, jess, shan, len, jie, jan.
hahas!

clarence forced me to eat things that i never even eat before!
just with that stupid phrase.
we drank.
butbut.
yeahs.
whatever. we are underage

went home at 11 plus.
jiejie, yan, shan and me took one taxi.
jan, clar, qi, jess took the other taxi.
while our taxi was very noisy, the other taxi wasn't.
ours is totally noisy.
i think the taxi driver canot tahan us also lors!

i remembered some stupid things at the dinner.
1. jiejie didn't know to play snooker de! i thought he know how to.
2. shan had problem walking with heels. and the boys keep disiao-ing her.
3. i was putting my handon clar's lap throughout the dinner. cause he qiao his leg.
4. lennie told her mum all our nick names.
5. clar's way of making me eating those things : "must eat! lena's birthday leh! must give face! eat.."

zzz.
okays.
my bro wanna use the comp.
shall blog about the other event on another day..
hehe!

are promises made to be for people to break?
argh.
whatever.
the promises that you used to make.
they seem to be broken.
i thought you would keep it till the end.
and the worse thing is.
you wanna teach me,
how to break the promises that i used to lay.

i will never break the promise.
but it seems that the promise is gone,
i guess you forgot about it.
perhaphs it was just a moment of folly.
i still hold onto the hope that you will remember.

so. tell me that you still remember, will you?