wah sian sian..
so boring.
now at mac with sengie.
waiting for janus to come down as well.
got nothing to do.

brought the laptop out..
wanted to do chinese de.
but i don't know why i'm not doing.
maybe i'm just too bored.
zzz.

wah sian.
many things happened these few days.
many things to blog.
BUT!
i just saw something just now and it totally ruin my mood.

thats my handphone bill.
wahlaos!
i also don't know why it overshot.
it was NOT supposed to overshot.
and even if it really did, it should be lesser than last month.
BUT! the damn bill came and it was $60 over dollars.
i only saw the back page.
i couldn't find the front page.

how am i gonna survive without my phone?!
wah sian!

people.. don't call or msg my phone.
if there is anything to tell me, call my hse fone.

I never meant the things I said

To make you cry

Can I say I'm sorry

It's hard to forget

And yes I regret

All these mistakes

I don't know why you're leaving Me

But I know you must have your reasons

There's tears in your eyes

I watch as you cry

But it's getting late

Was I invading in on your secrets

Was I too close for comfort

You're pushing me out

When I'm wanting in

What was I just about to discover

When I got too close for comfort

Driving you home

Guess I'll never know

Remember when we scratched our names into the sand

And told me you loved me

But now that I find

That you've changed your mind

I'm lost for words

And everything I feel for you

I wrote down on one piece of paper

The one in your hand

You won't understand

How much it hurts to let you go

Was I invading in on your secrets

Was I too close for comfort

You're pushing me out

When I'm wanting in

What was I just about to discover

I got too close for comfort

Driving you home

Guess I'll never know

All this time you've been telling me lies

Hidden in bags that are under your eyes

And when I asked you I knew I was right

But if you turn your back on me now

When I need you most

But you chose to let me down

Won't you think about what you're about to do to me

And back down...

Was I invading in on your secrets

Was I too close for comfort

You're pushing me out

When I'm wanting in

What was I just about to discover

I got too close for comfort

You're pushing me out

When I'm wanting in

(Yeh yeh yeh)

What was I just about to discover

When I got too close for comfort

Driving you home

I guess I'll never know

does anyone realise how disappointed i am?
i don't know what's with all these things that are happening around me.
well, this is the longest time that we "quarrelled" right?
there hasn't been anytime that is longer than this.

i know that i was at wrong for neglecting you.
now i regret it can?
i doubt anyone understands how i feel at all.
i feel so terrible inside.
even so, can you not always ask me to go to him instead?
so is this the punishment that you are giving me?
the punishment for neglecting you.
i almost wished that you could understand how i feel.
i almost wished that you could forgive me.
i almost wished that you knew.

wished you knew that i doted on you.
wished you knew how much you mean to me.
wished you knew nothing and no one replace you.
wished you knew i will never break the promise.

why can't i go to you instead?
so the answer is because he already dotes on me.
and do u really no longer don't dote on me anymore?
i don't wanna guess or hear lies anymore.
i wan you to say it right in my face. but i'm afraid that might not be able to take it.
why can't we go back to how we used to be like?
why can't we?
so, this is how fragile we are?

know what she told me about it?
she told me i was jealous.jealous of you and the Her.
know what she told me about too?
she told me you are jealous too. jealous of me and him being too close.
thats what she thinks.
so, what are you actually thinking?
i want to hear you say them.

if you wanna know mine, fine.
i would dare to say that, i'm jealous of her.
i don't know why.
so, what about you?
do you have any freaking idea that, just a phrase from you.
and it can inflict many scars? i doubt you know that.

why don't you tell me everything? everything that is bothering us now. maybe not us. just me.
perhaps it isn't even affecting you in any way.

okays.
didn't blog again.
so.. i shall blog now.

monday
it was raining super heavily in the morning.
had to run to school.
too bad, my uniform got all wet.
quite a number of people also.
hahas.
but! i sit under the damn fan in class!
sobsob.
so cold.

after school went to kfc with sengie and shan.
sen and i kopped straws from kfc until we emptied 2 containers.
okays. actually, it's sengie. not me.
i'm innocent.
saw heather and lynn in kfc.
they were watching us laughing away i think.
nevermind.

we went tm after that.
sengie went to collect things.
after that shan and i sent sen to take 67
after that walked to tecc.
talked to shan about alot of things.
these things that have been haunting me for so long.

saw brenda and zara there.
clarence and jessie came to find us after that.
slacked for awhile before going home.
we saw a damn bat.
so we decided to take an alternate route.
hahas.

had a pretty high fever in the night.
and my head hurts like hell.

tuesday
thats today.
my head is spinning and spinning..
lalalas~

after school slacked at 3a2 for quite sometime with shan, clar and jie.
after that went to the bb court near yanyan hse.
before that we went to makan at tampines mart.
it has been super long since i went there okays.

went there after that.
jan arrived soon after that.
they played basketball while me and jessie talked.
then after that they started playing with 2 other guys and RON TAN!

okays.
i am scared of the damn ball coming towards me.
i have always scared.
yet they play until can dribble right infront of me.
RAWR!

pretty scary.
well.
clarence got scratched on his hand.
o.O

after that, we took 291.
went to buy yiyan's prepaid card for him.
i'm a nice sister okays!
otherwise i would have gone home straight, especially when i'm on the damn bus 291.
RAWR!

wanted to pass yan the ppc since he say they were gonna be released soon.
so i waited for awhile.
after that decided to go home already.
jiaqi called me right after i stepped into the house door.
-.-

well.
thats all for today bahs.

actually, i'm having a damn headache again.

tmr gonna have meeting for sec3s.
zzz.
i think i'm gonna go home and sleep after that bahs.
hahas!

yawns!

and i can't stop thinking about what's going on..

oh..
quite some time never blog already lar.
hmms..

WEDNESDAY
i didn't go for the dnt course after school(:
sen,me, qi, lennie, jan, clar, yiyan and ryan took 67 to tampines interchange.
talk about stuffs on the way.
while i pei sengie go nokia care to repair her phone,
the rest went to find space at mac.
settled for the big mac at the interchange.

we talked alot of crap.
they were supposed to have amaths tuition with yiyan de.
ended up yiyan and ryan went home earlier.
clar, qi, lennie and me were talking about perverted XXX stuffs at mac.
while jan and sen were folding hearts.

childrens nowadays arhs.
talk about this kind of things like nobody's business.
we just said everything out. dun care what other people thinks.
we were there laughing until peng.
then jiaqi was doing something that was super obscene.
then i keep on laughing.
then i told clar and lennie.
then they started laughing also.
jiaqi was alittle bit slow.
hahas!

after that pei lena go cs.
then we walked around.
we went 'toys r us' also.
the first thing that they played with was the soft toys.
they placed to toys in the ahem ahem positions.
jan was running around when he knocked into a woman.
it reminds me of the flying ah ma by clar.
lols.

lena was reading her comic.
super engrossed.
then clar and jiaqi started fighting with the piyo piyo hammer.
chasing around each other in the shop.
it is really super embarrassing lors.

after that then i send jiaqi off.
sengie went to pierce another ear hole.
went home after that.
it was raining heavily.

THURSDAY
went to eat at kfc with jiewei, sengie, lena and jessie.
janus came later and we went to jiewei's house.
it was raining heavily.
i got bullied on the bus by janus and jiewei.
mean people.
they threatened me with my phone.
aw..
reached jiewei's house.
obviously didn't do chinese work larhs.

after awhile clarence came.
i didn't know he was coming.
i got bullied by them again.
cause they took my phone again.

this time, they on the song.
then clarence put inside his pe pants.
please lors.
he was wearing long pants.
but he go put inside his pe pants okays!
den he sit down!
ahh!
my phone! my speaker!
after awhile, we went to play mahjong.
starting is clarence keep on losing money.
then play halfway then they realised that they count wrong tai.
play play play until 8.30.

in the end, i lost the most.
jiewei won the most.
most of the time is jiewei and janus win.
zzz.
after that we walked to the bus stop with is pretty near my house.
then clar took 38 home, jessie took 8 home.
jan pei me walk home.

FIRDAY
hmms.
after school went mac with jan, sen, qi and jiejie.
kopped alot of straws(:
sengie keep on smiling to herself.
it makes me and jiaqi want to go crazy.
lalalas.
at about 2.45 jan and jiejie went back school.
sen, qi and me left at 3.
took 67.
sengie can't stop smiling.
jiaqi went home.
sengie and i went tm.
went popular.
looked at things.
then sengie bought things.

after that then i went home already.
but at around 8 plus.
clarence called.
ask me go down tecc slack.
so i agreed lors.
since jiaqi asked me before that too.
got nagged by my mother for that.
cause of stuffs larhs. went down to tecc.
can't find clar and jan at mac.
then i decided to go to the bb court and see see.
they are really there.
they all play until very sweaty lors.
jiaqi came down soon after that too.

janus and clarence used my shirt and wipe their sweat.
then i was like wth?
nevermind.
we went in mac after that.
cause they really sweat until alot.
so thought go inside and cool down.
clarence go and put his shirt on me!
it is so dirty!

after awhile. we saw yanyan!
oh.. our dear yiyan.
lols!
chatted for awhile.
then we went to the bus stop.
clar and qi crossed the bridge to go home.
jan, yan and i slacked at the bus stop for awhile looking at people opposite.
after that they 2 send me to my house downstairs.
cause i need to go home already.

SATURDAY
thats today. did practically nothing.
i woke up at 6.05 then i suddenly remembered that it's saturday.
so went back to sleep.
sleep until 12 plus.
woke up and slack.
then watched 'JUST MY LUCK'
quite lame lar.

slack slack slack.
and i like got alot of homework to do lehs.
sian diao. i think tmr going white sands buy things. anyone wanna go???
and then i think after that i will go tecc find my dearest jiaqi(: and yanyan of course!


some people sound so cute when they are sleeping.
i'm gonna see you sleep one day.
lalalas~
RAWR!

i don't know why..
but i have been feeling very sleepy these few days.
and i will feel like sleeping very often.
even though i'm sleeping earlier now, compared to last time.

wonder how am i gonna ton council camp at this rate..
hais.
and i often feel like crying nowadays.
cause of all these things happening around me.
hais..

oh man..
i got a feeling that i made someone angry today.
but the person says never..
don't really believe though.
nevertheless, still sorry okays?
i promise you that i will take out the straws the next time you ask me okays?
sorry la..
and then, i feel so guilty again when i keep dragging time when you wanna go home..
ended up with such a heavy rain..
you look so angry again..
dui bu qi again!

i feel so damn horrible today.
hais.
First was making people angry..
next is neglecting people..
then, next is.. argh. don't wanna talk about it.
i only know that i wanted to cry out a few times in school today..
i just suddenly feel like crying it all out.
but the more things i keep to myself, the more problems come along.

我没想到我们之间真的那么经不起考验。
我知道这所有的一切都是我的错。
我们已经不者么好了，加上这一次吵架，我不知道会发生什么。
但我想要你知道，我真的真的真的不想放手。
可是，如果你真的真的真的真的很想要离开。
我想我也不懂得要这么阻止你。
我也没有权力阻止你。
所以我想我会让你走，我会学会懂得放手。
毕竟我会想要我哥哥开心。
但其实我真的不想要你离开我。
算我自私吧，我无所谓。

call me selfish,
i know i'm.
i have been one, all along.

i wish i can just tell you this straight in your face.
i don't want things to turn out this way.
i feel so horrible.
i know it's all my fault that things turn out like this.

i don't know how to ask for your forgiveness.
so can you tell me..
tell me what i must do in order for me to get your forgiveness?
wo zhen de bu zhi dao ying gai yao ze me yang cai ke yi de dao ni de yuan liang?

tell me that it's not over.

okay..

it has been pretty long since i uploaded pics here uh..

so i shall just upload afew today.

13 jan: at starbucks slacking(:

21feb: lena tries to bite me): aww!

4th mar: celebrate da jie and weiquan's birthday(:

23feb: original slice of cake (mine)

23feb: cake after one bite (sengie)

23feb: cake halfway eaten (jessie)

23feb: cake finishing (jiaqi!)

5th mar: jiejie outside bedok interchange

5th mar: jan.sen.yan

5th mar: yan.jan

21th feb: lena's birthday cake(:

6th mar: shan.jie.sen at kfc

6th mar: the retarded faces =S

6th mar: sen.jie

12th mar: me &sen at marina kbox.

12th mar: bleh! xP

12th mar: bugs bunny tooth(:

10th mar: these roses to pray to you.

10th mar: roland restaurant.

14th mar: high class sharks' fin"

lols..

more to come in the future.

(:

hmms..
didn't really have a good sleep last night.
thanks to the headache and the flu.

okay..
i woke up at 7am this morning.
thats miracle.
talked to clar for awhile before he went for his chinese tuition.
after that went to watch hana kimi.
i'm still so far behind.
what the hell.

okays.
meet clar at2o1.
went over to jieweijiejie house.
supposed to do chinese.
but...
they ended up playing dota.
and i ended up talking to jiaqi on the phone.
but janus and clarence took away the phone.
they refused to return me.
aww..

i began screaming and shouting for jiaqi.
tried to go over janus's side to get the phone back but failed terribly.
cause clarence dun wan let me go over.
sad larh.

they only returned me my phone after 30mins.
but as soon as jiaqi call back again they took away the phone.
what the hell!
i began screaming and shouting again.
until finally they returned me my phone.
so i went next door and talk to jiaqi.
my headache and fever came back again.
zzz..
clarence keep on come over and make those obscene sounds to jiaqi.
damn dumb.

after that we ordered mac.
yiyan suddenly came out of the room with the scooter.
super funny.
i mean.. where people use the scooter around the whole house one?
after the mac delivery came, ate.
and baoshan came over.
we slacked for awhile.

clarence, jiewei and me went to the kitchen to open red wine.
after that we went to play mahjong!
after playing 1 round, see them play 1 round.
then i went down and fetch jiaqi.
jiewei accompanied me down.

came up and watch them play for 2 rounds.
then i played also.
i won 2 rounds.
hahas..
was super hyper.
but 1 of them was zha hu!
ahhh... wth.
nevermind.
heng never play money.
yiyan left earlier than us..
T.T

after playing then we left jiewei's house.
janus, clarence, me and jiaqi sent baoshan home.
then after that we went to have our dinner at kfc.
the food is like uncooked lors.

after the 3 of them finish eating, they started playing.
i was super jialat.
cause i haven finish eating.
and what they did was argh.
it can ruin your appetite.

this is what they did..


would you like to taste it?
"high class sharks' fin"
consists of:
1. lots of chilli sauce
2. ice
3. a little ice lemon tea
4. lemon
5. tissue paper
6. straw
7. vegetables.
8. water
9. cheese

disgusting right?
initially it looked like sharks' fin.
clarence said that.
after they added certain things inside.
it looks totally....
nevermind.

they actually shake it alot of time u know!
they close the cover,
use serviettes to hold the things and shake.

we quickly run away after the cleaner wanna come and clean.
lols.
to prevent a repetition of what happen at macdonalds.

after that then we went home already.
sian-ed.
and.. we didn't do the chinese at all.

talked on the phone with jiaqi until 1am.
then she went to sleep.
i after to sleep soon after that.

oh..
i'm oh-so-sickly now..

had a headache when i woke up this morning.
but i thought nothing of it.

when down for lunch with jasmine and jason.
after that went to the void deck nearby play badminton cause it was raining outside.
after awhile we decided to go to the outdoor court to play.
it wasn't raining already.

after we played for about 5mins,
it started to drizzle and the sun was shinning brightly.
we were thinking since already get wet abit already.
then might as well just play larh.

but after we finish playing then we slack slack abit.
then i started to get headache again.
a super ultra pain one.
then my forhead and neck and body very hot, but my hands and legs super cold.
jasmine treated us drink.
cause she lost the game.
not badminton larh.

after the drink we went home.
supposed to go home and bath then meet again.
but my whole body just feels so weak, and i'm having a freaking headache and fever.
so i'm just gonna stay at home and be guai hai zi.

don't ask me why i can still use the computer.
i was because got things to do.
:(( i'm sick.

i wish i can just fucking hell die now.
we are already not as close as before.
looks like the arguement will only make things worser than ever.
hais.

and i fucking hate myself now.
and i realise it's all my fault.

i wasn't there when you needed me,
i encouraged you to like him back. cause i thought he would be better than the other guy.
never did i expect such things to happen too.
maybe i shouldn't say a thing.

it's all my fault that i can't make out what you are thinking.
i didn't know you are so tired of it.
no.
i didn't know you are really so sick and tired of it.
i admit that i was in the wrong for scolding you.
but i don't mean a single thing.

i know it's all my fault.
i attitude you, but it became your fault.
i'm sorry.
you forget what to say, it become your fault.
i'm sorry.
i ask you go msg just cause u typed a msg, it become your fault.
i'm sorry.

i don't even mean what i said to you yesterday.
what wrong with me man.
so, i know it all now.
it all should be my fault to start with.
it shouldn't even be anyone else's fault.

you want me to tell you.
you say i'm unhappy.
and since thats the case, i should tell you.
but have you thought why is it that i'm unhappy?
cause i think i need you.
so can you fucking hell stop letting go?
why can't it be how it used to be?

i spent the whole night thinking and
fell asleep with these tears on my cheeks.
i realised.
i don't have an answer to anything.
i don't know what to do.
i'm totally lost.

so..
can you tell me what you wanna do?
if you really wanna leave.
if that's really what you want to do,
just tell me.
i won't be as cruel to hold you back.
but all i can do is to HOPE that you wouldn't leave.

don't leave. cause i know very well that i need you..

i jus remembered what happened yesterday night.
i was on the phone with clarence.
and i got fooled by him for 15 times.

i told him..
i shall try not to scold any vulgarities.
and he started trying to catch me scolding.
zzz.

and.. i got fooled by him by huh-ing.
he made me huh many many times.
longest record, *31 huhs.

meanass.
-.-

eventually, i told him, i'm not gonna try not to scold vulgarities already.
it's difficult.
cause i keep saying what the fuck?
zzz..

okays..
haven got the time to blog thanks to my brother who is always on the computer.
yeaps..

SATURDAY
hmms..
went for the homecoming dinner.
meet lena and baoshan at 12.
went to takashimaya for kinokuniya.
=)

we were in kinokuniya for about an hour plus?
helped lena look for books.
before we were about to leave,
i saw the BOOK OF ANSWERS

so..
started to try it out.
just for the fun of it..
end up baoshan also started looking at it too.
we asked about certain things.
the answers are really damn freaky lah.
they seem to feel answer to your questions.
then me and shan got this answer..
ask your mother and ask your father

after that, we went to eat.
and after that,
took mrt back to school.
cause need to report in school by 3.45
we don't need to wear blazers!

we reached roland resturant at about 4.15
-.-'''
dinner was rather lame.
we did ushering.
then sengie and i had to sell roses.
like what the hell!
but the profit was rather okay lehs.

when the dinner was about to end,
shazlin started to get disgusting..
zzz..
the take a cup, fill it with roses petals, and fill it with water.
it's nice.
but after that, they started using the straw and poke it.
until the get roses water..
-.-
disgusting.

after the dinner,
jess, lennie, jan, shan, clar and me went to princess mac.
ate macflurry.
then after that we took the last 18.
went home.
reached home at almost 1.
slept at 3+
zzz..

TODAY
hmms.
was supposed to meet sengie at 12.
but i woke up at 11.51
den she keep on calling and rush me.
make me go gan chiong.
ate yoshinoya.
waited for clar to come down.

den sengie started to kisiao.
she keep looking at the aquarium.
den comment about how cute those fishes look like.
then after that we went up.

and.. something super embarrassing happened.
we were at the converse fair dere.
then this was what sengie did..
sengie: shan. see this black shoe. can get it from minsan's daddy shop for $10.
and it's selling for $39 here. what the hell! *throws the shoe back
salesman: excuse me.. may i help you?
sengie: *stares at the salesman, give the peace sign, walks away.
salesman: *looks at sengie with the err.. look.

clar faster walk out of the fair.
i was laughing my way out.
den after that clar keep trying to avoid standing close to sengie.

after that sengie got obsessed with some wugui.
den we tried dragging her away.
den she says she will leave after the wugui drop into the water.
den the tortoise keep on never jump.
dne when she look away den it jumped into the water.
HAHA!
clar and i saw..
but.. sengie, you are not fated to see it jump into the water lah.

then we went to but takopachi.
sengie and i ate bacon and cheese.
clar ate octopus.
sengie and i got siaosiao over the thingy on top of the ball ball.
after that sengie went to buy her hairband.
den we went cheers to buy my lollipop.
me and sengie took cab to marina square for kbox.
clar went to school.

this is the first time that i go kbox then have nothing much to sing.
then first time that we leave so much earlier.

after that went home.
wanted to ask clar come up pei me mummum dinner.
but.. after i bath finish then he call me say finish volleyball..
zzz..

nevermind.

oh man..
today is such a boring day.
can't go out at all.
cause my dad didn't bring his house key.
-.-''

woke up at 10.30 plus.
that was a miracle man.
so early..

slacked around and then went 2o1 eat with shan.
after eating then she come my house
i wanted to go my house downstairs do homework.
but my dad say cannot.
so no choice lors.

so.. she came and..
yes.
in the end.
i help her do her english comprehension.
so damn easy can.
wahlao.

slack slack and slack.
and.. the boring day passed.
now it's night time already.
tmr going out..
yay!

but!
tmr need go school.
and i didn't know we have to wear blazers like until just?
what the hell!

today is just. yet another day.
i'm counting down to the march holidays.
went to school as usual.
and.
i forgot to bring my damn wallet.

first 2 lessons had poa.
ms wong came up for about less than 10 mins only then she went down.
cause she came in super late.
next was pe.
did some lame passing of chairs.
then help mr halim to arrange the chairs.
then recess already.

i was just unhappy about certain things lar.
but, i was fine after recess already.
we saw our marks for combined sci also.
it's a miracle i passed.
:))

after school i got super pissed.
and then damn sway.
we placed our books under the railing there.
then we accidentally pushed it and it all fell 4levels down.
jus to sway ms ***** saw us picking up the books.
then she asked us what happened.
then some people go say
other people throw the books down.
wth?!
dun extra la.

after that den i damn dulan already
my books are all spoiled.
and some people have to come and provoke me.
damn it.
went to 3a2 find shan and clar.
wen to mac with shan, sen, jan, yan, jie, clar

got pissed while on the way there to find out about something.
and i got super angry.
i just don't feel like talking.
shall not elaborate.
it just makes me angry.

they were supposed to go study amaths.
but ended up folding hearts with straws.
thanks to baoshan.
-_-'''

slacked awhile only.
then leave already.
before mac, we got kinda scolded by the cleaner aunty for wasting straws.
i'm not involved.
but yiyan was.
and.. very clever.
first one to walk away.

after that then go home already.
:)
nothing much today.

argh. damn it..
everytime i wanna blog, my brother wanna use.
so..
just a short post.
went kfc to slack and to wait for sen jus now.
i was with shan, clar and jiejie.
clar was doing his amaths.
jiejie was teaching him.
shan was reading vampire knight.
i got nothing to do.
slack den after shan finished the book.
i lied on the table.
wanting to rest for awhile.
fell asleep.
shan fell asleep too.

i could hear noises.
but jus can't wake up.
until clar came beside me and then shake my head.
argh.
i wake up.
kena shocked that he suddenly shake my head when i sleeping sia.
after that den abit attitude de..
but wasn't angry or what larhs.
it's just that i will attitude attitude like that.
shan woke up too.

we slack slack awhile.
den go buy food eat.
after slacking and joking ard.
me, sengie and jiejie took some pics.
shall upload pictures another day.
i 've got lots of them.
hahas!

we then took 28 home.
got bullied by clar they all again.
hurhur!
so kelian..

gtg.
shall blog another day when i'm home early.
:)

even if i don't show it, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

oh.. okay.
i just remembered what happened on the 24th.
yeaps.
it's the first time that our FAM can go out together with everyone present.
hmms.
clar arrived in the afternoon.
we played cards.
then a while of mahjong.
after that, jan came!
soon after was yan then jiejie.

okay.
in the night, at about 9+,
we all took 29 and went to tm.
the bus journey was a horrible one.
i was tortured by the guy thanks to the word, "hi 5!"
zzz..
my hair got messed up like siao.

we went to watch THE EPIC MOVIE.
hahas!
funny movie.
they said it was some sexual humor.
but in fact, it is like.
almost the whole show is sexual humour lors.

after the show then yiyan have to go back le.
sobs!
the rest of us went back to lena's hse.
played blanket party.
i got sabotaged too.

after that, jiaqi and jessie went to sleep:)
me, shan, sen, len, jan, clar,jie went to playground.
jan drank tiger beer,
len didn't drink at all.
jie and i drank vodka.
the rest of them drank barcadi breezer:)
sen's face went all red.

went back and soon fell asleep pretty soon.
i sent clar out to the main road at about 2.3 like that.
jiejie went back at 6+ almost 7.
jan went back at 10+ about 11.
shan and i took a taxi and went back at 12+
jessie's dad sent jessie and jiaqi back.

lalalicious.

u wanna know what i'm unhappy about?
okay fine.
i'll tell you everything.

i haven't even been happy since the beginning of the year.
except for certain occasions.

i feel that you dote on them more than on me.
i don't know why, but it feels that way.
i feel that you are closer to her now.
i just feel that i don't mean anything to you.

right.
true enough,
i talk on the phone with the both of you.
but, i know very well now, who i dote on more.
i know who means more to me.
not that i don't care about him.
i care of both, alot.
but it's just different.
sometimes, no matter how much i teng him, it can't be compared to yours.
i know that hurting whichever will make me more xintong.

why didn't i tell you?
cause you weren't there when i needed you.
you were somewhere else msg-ing or with someone else.
then when i wanna tell you, there is hardly the chance.

sometimes i really don't wanna hear anymore of these promises.
simply cause you all don't always seem to keep them.
they are just like words that come out of your mouth without thinking.

you promised to be there for me always. and also never leave me.
that's the latest promise.
that's the promise that you told me just that day.
but, know what?
i don't feel you there anymore.
it seems like you were only there that night.
then when i wake up the next day, things return back to square one.
back to how it was before then.
seems to me that you don't even remember the promise.

i really feel that i mean of nothing to you at all.
there isn't a place for me to exist.
the feeling just sucks.

if you can't read this post.
i really don't know how to tell you already.
this isn't all that i've got to say.
there is more to come.

now that i've told you mine,
will you tell me yours?
honestly, i don't think so.

all i want now, is some assurance.
i don't wanna make anymore assumptions.

ni dao di hai teng wo mah?
will you really promise to be there for me always. and never leave?
i hope this to be the last time i'm asking it.

oh man!
clarence is such a mean brother.
hmph!

wahlao.
and then like so don't trust me like that.
fine.

oh gosh.
it has been like so long since i blogged!
and.. yes.. many things happened.
but.. i couldn't blog as my comp crashed.
awww...
it's kinda fine already.

shall blog about to events that happened recently.
21th FEB.
yeah.
it's my dear lennnie birthday.
and and.
also her granny's 80th chinese birthday.

so, a dinner was held to celebrate and the raffles town club.
we had school as usual on that day.
jus that the whole school was released early on that day cause the o'lvl results were good.
after school.
went home.
bath and prepared everything.

meet shan then jessie dad come and fetch us to go lennie's house with jan, qi,& jess.
waited for lena then after that her dad sent us to the club.
nice place uh.
there was a room for all of us.
we thought it was just like a normal room like study place lar.
it turned out to be like a hotel room.
-_-'''

okay.
slacked around.
lena cut her cake.
nice cake.
yummy.

went to look around the club.
finally settled down at the snooker room.
as expected.
played till it was time to go to the dinner lors.
at first, those going for the dinner was only 8 of us.
but clarence could make it last minute.
so.. yeahs.
he went as well.
so only sengie wasn't there.

this was how we sat.
(clockwise)
len's dad, mum, yan, clar, me, qi, jess, shan, len, jie, jan.
hahas!

clarence forced me to eat things that i never even eat before!
just with that stupid phrase.
we drank.
butbut.
yeahs.
whatever. we are underage

went home at 11 plus.
jiejie, yan, shan and me took one taxi.
jan, clar, qi, jess took the other taxi.
while our taxi was very noisy, the other taxi wasn't.
ours is totally noisy.
i think the taxi driver canot tahan us also lors!

i remembered some stupid things at the dinner.
1. jiejie didn't know to play snooker de! i thought he know how to.
2. shan had problem walking with heels. and the boys keep disiao-ing her.
3. i was putting my handon clar's lap throughout the dinner. cause he qiao his leg.
4. lennie told her mum all our nick names.
5. clar's way of making me eating those things : "must eat! lena's birthday leh! must give face! eat.."

zzz.
okays.
my bro wanna use the comp.
shall blog about the other event on another day..
hehe!